as Lillie got better, Mary Hardin got worse.

After we got home from the hospital Brad got sick with fever, cold.  Then I got it on Thursday and it was one of those days where it was just about survival.  Lillie watched 10 Curious George episodes in a row and I patted myself on the back because we all made it.

On Friday I was coming out of the fog and I notice Mary Hardin was limping.  Weird.  And her ankle was a little swollen.  Very weird.  I thought I would give it a day.

Saturday morning - it was worse.  The new pediatrician sent us to an orthopedic who thought she must have fractured her ankle but she just couldn't see it on the xray or maybe she had an injury to a growth plate.  So we got a boot.

And yes, she was miserable all weekend.

On Sunday I had a relaxing lunch with this group of ladies to celebrate two sweet babies-to-be.  I'm beyond thankful to call each one of these women friend - and in retrospect, I definitely needed those few hours to re-energize for the coming weeks.  Blessing, right here.

I called the orthopedic back on Monday and she said, "I'm glad you called - we have an appointment scheduled for you at 3pm today to put a cast on Mary Hardin.  It will go all the way up to her thigh."

For whatever reason -  I wanted a second opinion before I put this sweet little thing in a cast up to her thigh for 2 weeks.  I got the encouragement I needed to confirm that I wasn't totally crazy for wanting to get a second opinion from my boss - so I made the appointment for the next day's first available.

It so happened that Mary Hardin got fit in with the chief of pediatric orthopedic surgery.  Amazing.  First his Fellow started asking me questions about recent travels.  Clueless me couldn't figure out what travels - or lack there of-  had to do with a fractured ankle bone.  Then the doctor came in - he held my baby's two ankles side by side in his hands and said, "this isn't right."  We were scheduled for an MRI the next morning.

aren't all 15 month olds?

I was worried sick over the anesthesia needed for the mornings MRI.  She did great - the pediatric sedation team was amazing.  Brad held my hand the whole way.  Things went smoothly right up until the sweetest, kindest, most understanding nurse called my cell phone while I was sitting in pediatric sedation recovery and said, "Good news, I think we can get Mary Hardin admitted right now without a trip to the ER - page me if you need anything."  Then these doctors worked their magic and they did it quickly.  That afternoon she had her ankle aspirated in the PICU and then surgery in the OR at 9pm.  Sedated three times in one day.  Little did I know that the MRI sedation would be the least of my worries for that day. 

It seemed fast and scary and totally out of my control.  I looked each doctor in the eye as I consented for them to take away my baby and we - right then - had to make the decision to trust them.  Each time it got a little harder to hand her over.

At 10ish the surgeon came out to see us - he said everything went well.  He clearly stayed late to get this done that evening.  Time was important.  I was asking about the future, about her future - and he looked at me and said, "Mom, tonight you should just be thankful your baby is alive."

That hit home in an unexpected way.  Those type of words change a parent - a person.  Sitting in the PICU waiting room.  Playing in the Ronald MacDonald playroom.  Nurses that you can laugh with - and that watch you sleep, and cry, and eat and brush your teeth.  It all just changes you.

We were in the hospital for the rest of the week.  Familiar, only a few doors down from where we were with Lillie.  We saw some of the same doctors and a lot of the same nurses.  We love Anna and her fake glasses. 

Oh and by the way, we asked, and there is no way these two things are connected.  Just unlucky we were told.        

We do recognize the Lords provision in this time.  Most children with Osteomylitis stay in the hospital for months fighting the infection.  We caught it early, the doctors acted very quickly and Mary Hardin fought.  Praise the Lord we found an oral antibiotic this week that seems to be fighting the infection.  Her blood work is improving.  We have been humbled by friends' love, prayers, support, and desire to provide for our physical needs.  We have felt it all deeply.

And this week is the first week we will go without doctor's appointments since August.  We go back to the hospital Monday morning.  But I'm thankful, really thankful.

At night I find myself with guilt - I should have caught it sooner, if I had washed her hands one more time or not sent her to daycare maybe....

And then the guilt that I should be more thankful for what today has to offer - whatever it maybe.

Prayers for Mary Hardin include continued healing of the infection - especially deep in the core of her bone and growth plates.  And prayers for no long-term damage from the infection.  As I understand it, we have about 6 to 8 weeks of treatment left.